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The Fuckheads were founded during the Alpha test of Ultima Online in April 1996 by Reverend Brucifer, Tern, Dr. Nip & Xylothan. Reverend Brucifer took the title of "Grandmother Fuckhead" with the other three founders taking the titles of "Mother Fuckheads". The guild was known for having an indepth lore & doctrine that resembled a cult more than an online clan. Their base of operations was on the Sonoma shard, north of Trinsic in a compound they called WACO (Named after the Branch Davidians). The clan gained a huge amount of notoriety during the Beta when Rainz, one of their members, murdered Lord British during a public appearance by throwing a firewall on top of him. The clan's charter reads:




1996-04 founders firstpicture.jpg

Guild founders, April 1996

"Fuckheads... making Britannia a kinder, gentler place to live since April 2, 1996"

Notable Members

  • Reverand Brucifer - Grandmother Fuckhead
  • Dr. Nip - Mother Fuckhead
  • Tern - Mother Fuckhead
  • Xylothan - Mother Fuckhead
  • Hypoxula - Fuckhead
  • Pallaeon - Fuckhead
  • Psyko - Fuckhead
  • Rand - Fuckhead
  • Riva Dragon - Fuckhead
  • Tesla - Fuckhead

Fuckhead Doctrine

The Fuckheads had four parts to their doctrine. The Doctrine of Chaos, Anal Virtue Beads, Weapon Creed, & Discipline Creed.

Doctrine of Chaos

I believe in the forces and powers of Chaos.

I believe in the ways of Tolerance, Enthusiasm, and Emotion.

I believe that these ways will show me to better myself and therefore how to better my life.

I believe that believing in Tolerance will teach me acceptance of all things.

I believe that believing in Enthusiasm will teach me the source of energy which will allow me to accomplish great tasks.

I believe that believing in Emotion will give me the ability to perceive feelings which come from the heart, not of the mind.

— Vessuvius

Anal Virtue Beads


Weapon Creed

Motherfuckhead Verse (Male Version)

Tonight, you Fuckheads will sleep with your Axes. You will give your Axes a girl's name, because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Celia Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this Axe, this weapon of iron and wood, and you will be faithful!

Motherfuckhead Verse (Female Version)

Tonight, you Fuckheads will sleep with your Axes. You will give your Axes a boy's name, because this is the only dick you people are going to get. Your days of shaft-stroking ol' Geoffrey Rottencrotch through his pretty white boxers are over! You're married to this Axe, this weapon of iron and wood, and you will be faithful!

Fuckhead Verse

This is my Axe. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My Axe is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life! Without me, my Axe is useless. Without my Axe, I am useless. I must hone my Axe true. I must swing straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must fist him before he fists me. I will! Before the Chaos Serpent, I swear this creed. My Axe and myself are defenders of Britannia! We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life. So be it! Until there is no enemy, but peace... Fuckheads!

Discipline Creed

In my desire to be a Fuckhead, I swear to master the Madness within myself, to never be the ass at the end of the Axe, and to respect the ones who would call me brother. I swear to not lash mine enemy with the tongue, but rather let my Axe release my wrath upon those that would entice me to anger. Furthermore, let it be known to all, that mine head be fucked, and as such, will not tolerate the slander of my deviancy. I swear to always remain a Badass, and to act accordingly. This Truth, Love, and Courage serves as my Creed of Discipline.


From the Fuckheads Website:

Here's a quick summary for all those who visit here and are just completely clueless as to what we're all about. We're a family of some of the toughest people ever to venture in Britannia. We don't tolerate any shit from other people. Harass family members, friends, or newbies, and we'll fuck you up without any hesitation. We don't talk any trash we can't backup with our axes. Before we wrote here that we rock and we kick ass, we rocked and kicked ass on Destard. Our talk came after our actions. Don't think we're evil. We live by Chaos which is neither good nor evil. While we may be in the gray, our actions are by far more good than evil. We stick up for lesser-skilled adventurers who can't fight for themselves. That's what Fuckheads do.

1996 to 1997

Quotes from the original Fuckheads website.


It started on my first day in Britannia. I bought some armor and a war axe and left town through the northwest exit. I ventured westward slaying a couple Steel-Toothed Killer Rabbits along the way. I came across a wheat field and there was Dr. Nip bashing bunnies. He kindly gave me more armor and advised me to keep killing rabbits to bring up my level. The next day I came across Dr. Nip again. This time he was with a couple other guys, Xylothan and Tern. We all talked for a little and then decided to all group up and form a hunting party.


We started out kicking the shit out of forest animals, rabbits and deer. We quickly discovered how easy wolves were when four bitches gathered around to beat the shit out of it. Our levels were going up and we all had a full set of armor and broadswords. It was orc time baby! We stormed into the middle orc camp and fucked up anything we saw moving there. Orcs and wolves weren't shit to us. Despite our relatively low levels, the four of us easily fucked up any orc. We rocked that place.


Shitkicking in the orc camp made us think we were a bunch of badasses. We figured, "What the fuck... the four of us can take on an orc captain..." Well, we spotted one just to the north and surrounded it. The battle was going great until the orc captain started hitting back... The captain delivered a good beating to us all. After I died, the rest of the guys took off running. :)


The next day we all got together again. We grouped up and set off for the orc base. Along the way I suggested we have a group name. Can you guess what my suggestion was? Yeah, that's right. The Fuckheads. Dr. Nip, Tern, and Xylothan all liked it so we kept it. One day while out in the field hunting, bashing, and healing and just making our presence known on Destard, someone commented, "Hey, nice guild name :) ." I never thought of us as a guild before. I just thought we were a bunch of punks kicking the shit out of evil and helping out the rookies. I guess from then on we were "a guild." Sure, we were a small guild with only four members, but that didn't matter. We were gettin' ready to blow. We're mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfuckers, motherfucker! Every time our axes killed an orc, we were Superfly TNT. We're the Guns of Britannia. In fact, what the fuck are we doing in the orc base? You're the motherfuckers that should be on orc detail. We're trading. We're bashing skeletons and you're picking up this dead orc's skull.

Shortly after the Gods wiped our asses out the 1st time, we came across Mike D. up in the Northwest Forest. I was surprised when Mike D. said, "Hey Rev, I want to be a fuckhead." I thought to myself, "Someone actually wants to join us? We're just a couple of bitches..." Well, we couldn't deny a fuckhead wanting to be a Fuckhead so he became the first fuckhead to join The Fuckheads. There were several players around us in the woods when Mike D. joined up. One of them was Praecor-Lolth. I didn't know him at the time, but he was there and joined us a couple months later. He was friends with Tern. We met several other cool ass bitches on Destard who later joined. There was Daemion Erasmus, Count Zero, Hahn Solo, Powerslave, Sentry, Tesla, Zexor.


The world of UO shutdown on April 12th. I couldn't log on that day to get the other guys' email addresses. Reading the UO Chat Zone and Auric and Andrew's Guild Page, there seemed to be guilds popping up all over the fucking place. I'm expecting Asshole Guilds to form in May so I've taken it upon myself to make sure The Fuckheads are ready to fucking rock. I started recruiting for The Fuckheads.

On April 29th, Krom and Zexor joined The Fuckheads. You've more than likely seen them both around. Zexor fucked mad shit up with his Fire Dildo. With the addition of Krom, we have allied with The Many Colored Wearing Chaotic Fun Knights of The Drunken Stupor.

May 1st was a huge day. Riva Dragon always felt like a fuckhead inside so he made his fuckheadedness official. THORNN wants to kick some serious ass and is still pissed at a PKilling cocksucker so he too joined. The Fuckheads allied with Lord Duncan and The Order of the Crescent Knights. I fought alongside Lord Duncan a few times in April. He's a cool bitch. We also allied with The High Clerics of the Shadowlands when Ceryx joined. Ceryx enjoys The Fuckhead's freedom to curse and swear immensely. Fucking right, motherfucker!

May 2nd. It was another big day. Tesla is ready to kick some more ass. He'll be doing it with The Fuckheads from now on. Tesla was around back on Destard. Juggernaut is looking for revenge against a few Pkilling cocksmokers. PKilling cumstains better not fuck with this Fuckhead now because we'll all fuck you back harder. GreenEvil is looking to have fun, gang up on Pkillers, and fight for The Fuckhead's ideals.

May 3rd. The started with Lord Duncan joining. Lord Duncan thoroughly enjoys beating the shit out of dickhead PKillers who have nothing better to do than attack someone who is half their level and unable to defend his or herself.

May 4th. Jerian is making it clear right away that he isn't going to take any shit from anyone so he joined. Disciple doesn't want to get fucked and figures we're the perfect guild, so he joined too.

May 5th. Two more guilds allied with The Fuckheads. Damion Darkiith brought The Sorcerers of The Stone. STyX brought The Clan of The Lumini. These additions are greatly welcomed.

Also, more players joined. Daemion Erasmus, a good friend of The Fuckheads on Destard, joined. Once when I was low level, low on health, and being chased by an orc, Daemion Erasmus helped me out. He killed the orc in like one fucking hit and saved my life. This guy is definately one bad motherfucker you don't want to fuck with. He wants to cause havoc again. Akhbar is ready to run with the baddest guild on the block beating the shit out of assholes. Rand wasn't about to join some other traditional guild. He wants to kick some ass and offend all who oppose The Fuckheads.

May 6th. Smoky Dragon joined. He's a sexually perverted, animalistic, living abortion. He's definately a Fuckhead. Slayer joined too. He wants to go around killing things and helping naked people.

May 7th. Dorfman joined. He feels The Fuckheads' personality best matches his own. Disciple left. It's best that someone as uncommitted to Insanity like him leaves now then when we're back in action.

May 8th. As usual, more players joined. Kurva considers himself to be a real-life, fucked-in-the-head sexual deviant. Psyko joined for the freedom! They're both in for the right reasons.

May 9th. Zaranna joined. She's the first female Fuckhead.

May 10th. My contortionist friend, Sir Tits, joined. He's just a little girl.

May 12th. Hamish joined. He wants 1000 orc captains spawned.


May 13th was a fucking crazy day. We welcomed two new members, Hahn Solo and Ruziska. I remember Hahn from the days in Destard. Several of us were still living in the memory of the old days when we were high level badasses and tried to take on some orc captains. Well, we got rocked, but it was fun! Every Coalition meeting we scheduled got completely screwed up. Only Dr. Nip, Psyko, and someone else made it to the 3:00 CST afternoon meeting. So a 5:00 EST meeting was called for by some of the players while in the game. We got about 6 or 7 guys at that one, but we all ended up getting separated shortly after. No one I talked to knew about the 8:30 p.m. EST meeting, because no one I talked to showed up, including myself. However, I did meet up with most of The Fuckheads and Coalition leaders throughout the day.

May 14th started out fucking great! We got together a nice party at around 2:00 a.m. EST. There was me, Dr. Nip, STyX, Krom, Lord Duncan, and some guy whose name I can't remember right now. We were fucking those orcs up bad, until a wave of 10 of them charged us. We eventually picked them all off one at a time. Then an orc captain broke things up. And of all the people there, the goddamn cappie decides to chase me. I got away and eventually met up with Dr. Nip at The Fort.

May 15th was even better! We got four new Fuckheads: Count Zero, Luminous, Sipherious, and Tempus. I knew Count Zero from back in the old days on Destard. Luminous, Sipherious, and Tempus are people I just met. They all kick ass.

Just after midnight, Krom, Zexor, and I went on the Quest. While inside, Origin started making the switches disappear! It sucked. We ended up getting stuck at the end of the Quest. Those bastards shut it down so we couldn't get Fire Dildos. Since we were stuck and had nothing to do, we decided to kill each other to get out. We all stripped and then an Orc Captain appeared. We killed the fucking Cap with our bare fists while we were naked! :) Then we started beating the shit out of each other. I killed Zexor and then Krom killed me. Me and Zexor were at The Temple laughing when the server rebooted and we were tossed back to the Quest. So we all killed the Captain again and then starting fighting each other. Krom and I ganged up on Zexor and sent his ass to The Temple. Then I Por Flam'ed Krom's ass to The Temple. Here I was stuck by myself and nothing to do. So I waited until I got some mana back and then I Por Flam'ed my own ass!


Early this morning around 1:00 a.m., about 5 of us headed into the city to rape and pillage. We were all pissed about the Quest being shutdown. We decided to start a rebellion! We were gonna kill all the NPC's; a Rape and Pillage Mission. In just a few minutes in Britain, our hunting party turned into around 20 guys! I think we had up to around 30 guys at the time just before we stormed the Castle. We fucking killed every NPC in sight including the guards. There were bodies fucking everywhere! We renamed LB's Castle to Castle Fuckhead

We bagged a PKiller this afternoon. I saw Melissa and killed her to avenge her attack on Krom. GreenEvil was pissed because he was standing there and I killed her before he could get a piece of her. :) Then as Melissa was leaving Britain, Hamish killed her. Hamish ended up killing her 3 times. Melissa was killed a total of 8 times. Later on I heard that Melissa was being nice to people. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Fuckheads rule!

May 16th was a good day. Sentry joined. He is also from the good old days back on Destard.

May 17th was a kickass day. Lots of Fuckheads were out chasing PKillers. Juggernaut bagged Squeege. Zexor and Smoky kicked the crap out of Hammi. Spanki, Squeege, Lenny, and Hammi are all being hunted and targeted for immediate execution. They tried to kill a few Fuckheads and killed an ally in The Guild of Shadows. They will be attacked and killed on sight forever! Kurva, Mike D., and I chased Kylandra, but the bitch logged out. I eventually caught up with her later and cut her down near the Fort.

Dixie Dragon joined The Fuckheads today. He enjoys being able to curse, swear and talk trash freely.

May 18th was an important day. A bunch of us Fuckheads were hanging out in front of the Fort when a guy dressed in a newbie outfit comes walking by. It turned out to be Xylothan, one of the Founding Fuckheads! I had been out of touch with him since the end of the first test. It was a big fucking surprise to him to see that there weren't just four Fuckheads anymore. He started this demo period late. We immediately dressed him in full armor with a great axe. He was outkicking ass right fucking away. Now Tern is the only missing Founding Fuckhead.


May 20th. UO Despise shutdown. The Fuckheads have left a permanant mark. (It was later said that excessive fireballing causes the server to crash. There were a couple nights were several Fuckheads and allies were por flam'ing the shit out of some guards at the same time. The server kept crashing every few minutes while we were doing this. So if you hated all the frequent late night crashes, you can probably thank the Fuckheads.)

May 23rd. Three more poeple have officially fucked thier heads: Dark Shadow, Glitch, and Gorgar. Dark Shadow understands that killing shit, especially PKillers, fucking rules! He's tired of seeing people get fucked over in the game so he's decide to help put an end to that shit by being a Fuckhead. We helped Glitch during the demo and now he wants to help others in the Fuckhead way. Gorgar wanted to be a part of the greatest guild of all. He also likes the way we style.

May 25th. The Draconic Kin lead by Shaman Erstam was welcomed to The Coalition. They are our newest allies. DCEngr joined for the simply reason of "to kick ass!" He'll be doing a lot of that with us.

May 28th. Powerslave joined. We fought Hordes of Orcish Lords together.

May 30th. Tern the Long Lost Motherfuckhead has been found! This is a sign from Hell. We will be kicking much ass in the upcoming Beta. Monty joined. He hates PKillers and wants to help take them down.

May 31st. It's a sad day. Zaranna has left the Madness. She will always be a friend to us all and will be welcomed back if she ever decides to return.

June 4th. Canadian Dragon's Purple Circle has entered the Coalition. They will be there at our sides when we kick the shit out of the Black Circle. Canadian Dragon, Stealth Dragon and his Guild of Shadows, Count Zero and Rev. Brucifer are all "Marked" by the Black Circle. This means we have the right to kill DarkBlade whenever we see him. Dagon joined. He wants to kick the asses of the fat, ugly, and repressed.

Dixie was booted out of The Fuckheads for being a faggot. He lied to us and sold some of us out to DarkAnusBlade. Dixie will more than likely be killed on sight by some angry Fuckheads.


June 10th. Fuckhead membership policy changed. Members can no longer belong to other guilds. The Fuckheads want 100% commitment and loyalty to each other. You're either a Fuckhead or not a Fuckhead. Everyone I discussed this policy change with completely agreed and welcomed it. From initial responses from members, this seems to be what everyone wants. No one wants anyone around who they can't fully trust and count on to help out. This change gaurantees that The Fuckheads remains strong and united.

DCEngr is out of the Fuckheads. We found out he was also in the Black Circle. We couldn't have any Fuckhead also in a guild that we were going to destroy.

June 12th. The Order of the Mystic Tiger lead by High Mage Ryan joined The Coalition. They are now our allies. Slayer is out of the Fuckheads. He couldn't decide if he wanted to stay a Fuckhead or remain in the High Mages of Britannia. The decision was made for him.

June 17th. Four Fuckheads were appointed to positions and awarded titles for voluntary actions which greatly serve the guild. They didn't ask for any reward for what they did. I gave them their titles because I felt they deserved something for their efforts in providing something for the guild. The Motherfuckheads all approved. Smoky is Security Fuck. He's caught around 5 spies in the Coalition. He's very fucking good at catching faggots in their lies. Riva is Public Relations Fuck. He doesn't hesitate to publicly defend us and has the unique ability of doing it very well without resorting to flaming. Sentry is Intelligence Fuck. He put up a bot on our irc channel real quick. Rand is Communications Fuck. He set up a mailing list. Since a lot of people can get to irc when we talk about shit, this will allow more people to get involved in discussions.


June 21-23th. Riva and Ruziska attended Dragon Con. They met and talked with Lord British (the King!) and Starr Long (UO producer). Riva and Ruziska were there on a Special Fuckhead Recruitment Mission. Besides gathering info and enjoying the convention, they were there to invite Lord British to join the Fuckheads. Lord British accepted! He is now a Fuckhead. This is one of the greatest days in Fuckheads history.

June 25th. There is no more "Coalition." The allied guilds formerly known as the Coalition are all still allies. It's just that it was better not to lump everyone under one name. This way one guild's actions don't directly reflect on another guild. No one will be sucked down unwillingly by our madness by association with us.

Sipherious is Archiver Fuck. He handles the storage of all our screenshots. Praecor-Lolth has officially declared his head fucked. Now when he kicks ass and plays with the port-o-potties, he'll be doing it as a Fuckhead.

July 4th. BlackHawk joined. He's gonna kick ass with us. He's also Riva's brother.

July 6th. Sipherius is out of the Fuckheads. There were just too many complaints about him lying and treating people like shit.

July 7th. Four more Fuckhead titles were given out today. Ruziska is Castration Fuck. He's leading a mission to banish all dickheads from the realm. Monty is Photo Fuck. Fuckheads are stylin' motherfuckers and someone needs to take pics of us lookin' so goddamn good. GreenEvil is Whore Fuck. He'll be out searching the land to find us quality ho's. Juggernaut is Vault Fuck. He's the badass watching our cash.

July 15th. Horatio Erasmus joined. He's gonna be a fucking badass. He's Daemion Erasmus's brother.

July 26th. Daemion Erasmus is MageLord Fuck. Again, everyone will see why later...

August 11th. Lord Cie joined. He's met several Fuckheads and whacked a PKiller at the Temple. The next time he whacks a PKiller, he'll do it as a Fuckhead. And you too can "Be All The Fuckhead You can Be."

August 13th. Glitch is Finger Fuck. He'll be working alongside Ruziska from now on. When Ruziska assumes his role as Executioner, Glitch is there as Jury.

August 21st. Akhbar is Excess Fuck. You don't want to know what he did to get this title...

September 4th. Dran Dralak'moor' and his Shadow Judges will no longer exist.

September 5th. It was destined to happen. The Hemp Society has become our allies. They are the first non-Coalition guild we allied with. An exception was made because assholes have trouble looking passed their name and seeing them for the fun-loving people they are. Guilds like us need to stick together and fight back against repression.

October 21nd. The Order of the Rune Weavers (formerly the Order of the Mystic Tiger) unfortunately disbanded. They will be missed. Also, the Sorcerers of the Stone seem to have vanished from existence.

October 22nd. Kurva is Pimp Fuck. He heads up all Fuckhead business related things.

October 23rd. We welcome our newest badass, Aragorn. He and I went into Hades' Playground together with Powerslave and Dagon. We also rocked quite a few orcish lords together.

December 18th. Word got out that the Coalition never completely disbanded. We welcome the Augustus Romanov with the Dominion as our newest allies.

December 20th. Lord Cie is Skin Lute Fuck. He's our resident badass bard who'll sing our greatest moments.

January 8th. Seawolf became a Fuckhead. He's been a real cool bitch to hang with and everyone likes him so he is one with the Madness now.

February 6th. Canadian decided he didn't want to do anything with the Purple Circle in the Beta so it's gone now and he's become a Fuckhead. He kicked much ass in the old days although he did it without a skirt most of the time. In the future, we'll make sure he's wearing a skirt at all times.

March 2nd. We have two new members, Lady Acady and Mocker. Lady Acady wants to be with a guild that understands friendship and sticking up for each other. Mocker is a longtime friend of Lord Cie and wants to join in on killing PKillers. Also, due to Coalition committments, our alliance with the Hemp Society ended.

March 3rd. Demoness became a Fuckhead today. This siren is also Zexor's woman so don't mess with her.

March 11th. Raphael is a Fuckhead now. He's a friend of Ruziska and Riva. He's here to kickass and take names.

April 7th. Lord Wizal joined today. Several Fuckheads rocked with him last May. He's ready to hunt PKillers again.

April 12th. Zamiel came into the Madness today. He just wants to enjoy good, clean, wholesome fun.

May 31st. Bob Ross, Grogan, and Pellaeon are all Fuckheads now. Bob Ross came for trust and true friendship. Grogan is not another ye this ye that motherfucker. He's here to vent and release some stress and have a laugh doing it. Pellaeon is simply out to kickass.

June 2nd. Deviant joined the family. His dysfunctionality fits right in.

June 3rd. Lareth and Most Violent Dragon joined today. Lareth is just fucked. Most Violent Dragon kicked ass with some of us last May. He'll kick more ass with us now.


It was June 13th when we started returning to Briannia. Monty and Dr. Nip were the first ones in. The next day Rev. Brucifer and Dr. Nip, Britannia's first cult leaders, rode around on horses checking out the countryside west of Britain. Balance was all shot to hell so lots of strange shit went on. Luminous was the first to rip Trinsic a new asshole with his vortexes. He also killed Darkblade a couple of times. Jerian killed Dixie three times at the old Fort. Glitch ended up in some jungle where he got himself three pet gorillas. Grogan taught Seawolf a faster way to tame a rabbit by using a big axe. Krom and Grogan were a walking fashion show seen all over Britannia. Akhbar streaked through Yew in a neon green, fancy dress. Thornn played in a cave full of friendly monsters. Tesla took over the jail in Yew and freed the guards, jailors, and prisoners to their deaths. Xylothan travelled all over the world in search of a living mage selling spellbooks. Praecor-Lolth styled in some freaky, invisible, black, camoflauge robe. GreenEvil summoned male whore slaves. The Erasmus Brothers, Daemion and Horatio, abused the citizens of Yew. Ceryx showed off his dye and tailor skills. Cie played his bigass harp to entice several females throughout the land. Dorfman scared kids in Britain. Deviant learned to fear bigass trees that walk on their roots. Smoky bought the F.S. Lusty Wench at Skara Brae and took Luminous, Mocker, and Powerslave on a deadend cruise.

The Apocalypse hit on June 22nd and that was once again the end of everything.


On July 9th the world came back to life. Since then, all of us were gradually heading in there.

Tymus Romanov joined on July 17th. He recently turned over leadership of the Dominion to Llahlekje and Ming. He kicked ass in Phase 1 and was fun to be around so we're glad to have him.

July 23rd. Mocker is Skull Fuck, collector of bones and things. It probably won't be useful in any way, but it'll at least be real stylish.

July 25th. Romanov, Rev. Brucifer, Smoky, and Stealth Dragon pooled their money for a boat. They took a bunch of Fuckheads on a cruise to Ocllo.

July 26th. Hamish, Dark Shadow, and Mike D. are out. Hamish would rather hang with newbie killers. Dark Shadow just won't be playing anymore. Mike D. disappeared completely without saying a word.

August 3rd. Sadly, Monty left us. He joined up at the end of the May Madness and was always a big help with things. There were projects which probably never would've gotten off the ground if Monty hadn't gone out of his way to get things done. May there always be whores and liquor.

August 8th. Many of us were at Jhelom to see Lord British and Lord Blackthorn debate. Blackthorn was sportin' some badass-looking, pimp shield.

British had on his usual gear. Trixie and Heckles were there also. Trixie dressed like a whore while Heckles looked like some kind of brown turd. There were some big changes in the Coalition on August 25th. Stealth disbanded the Guild of Shadows. Erstam disbanded the Draconic Kin, but left saying it may just be temporary. Order of Balance was disbanded and Ceryx became a Fuckhead. The Many Colored Wearing Chaotic Fun Knights of the Drunken Stupor just became a side project of Krom while Krom returned to just being a Fuckhead. He was a Fuckhead long time ago but just become an honorary one when the Coalition was started. So at the end of all of this, the Coalition trimmed down to just Fuckheads, Crescent Knights, and Dominion.

New bitches were welcomed to the Madness on August 30th. Groo, Hypoluxa, Ithaqua, Kwin, Silent Bob, Zep all gave themselves to the infectious Insanity. Groo showed he could take care of himself when one day a boatload of Fuckheads sailed to Serpent's Hold and saw him there alone all decked out in top of the line gear with his own boat. Hypoluxa showed his Fuckhead spirit by continually rushing into battles ready to cap whichever dickheads who needed a beating. Ithaqua, formerly known as Korn, stormed through a few dungeons with Fuckheads. Kwin contributed an enourmous amount to the guild including countless amounts of gold and boats, and shitkicked plenty of assholes who talked shit to us. Silent Bob killed dickhead archers inside Trinsic including two that ganged up on Rev. Brucifer. Zep toured through infested dungeons with Fuckheads and also joined them in hunting parties searching the land for dickhead pkillers.

The Madness grew stronger on September 4th. Therakron and Trahkcol, besides killing alongside Fuckheads, both continually showed they are capable of and willing to help get jobs done.

There was a Scavenger Hunt sponsored by Lord British on September 10th. Since we're so goddamn full of quality and resourceful members, we of course rocked the shit out of it. Zep was the first to gather a set of the six different crystals and was thus the grand prize winner. Kwin, Smoky, and Wizal also won by gathering sets of the crystals. There were ten winners in all. Four out of the ten, including the first one, were Fuckheads. Bragging rights for dominating the first official contest in Britannia are ours.

September 12th. Wizal resigned.

September 14th. Kwin resigned.

We left the Coalition on September 16th. There are some things that need to be taken care of. While these things are being done it would just be better to not be part of the Coalition. We were a large part of the Coalition's creation and an eventual return to it is possible. The Coalition is still the best thing Britannia ever had.

Even though relations are no longer officially formalized with alliances we still get along fine the other Coalition guilds. There's still cooperation between guilds. Today, some members of both Fuckheads and Dominion pooled their gold and bought a tower. Since no one needed any gold for equipment it just seemed like a cool thing to do with all the gold.